I don't know about anyone else but I love to be with a group of girls and talk about purity.
I'm not like obsessed with sex or anything, but it's something I'm interested in teaching about. I know that I can struggle sometimes. Just yesterday I was having an inside battle with myself because we where looking at bathing suits and the majority of them where bikinis. So my mind starts wandering and all of a sudden I start to wonder how I would look in a bikini. Where did that come from?!
Well, it came from what I've been struggling with, looking "good", but not an extent to where my parents complain. So while we're looking at bathing suits my mom's trying to get an idea of what I want.
I was panicking inside cause I didn't want to tell my mom, the one who's always influenced me not to wear bikinis, that that's what I wanted to try on! No way!
But I ended up crying in Kohl's because I was telling my parents I didn't know what I wanted when I did, but I wanted approval.
Now the day before my dad was talking to us girls about bikinis and how showing things get to guys and all that and I felt bad that the very next day I wanted to go against what I have always believed about that and try one on.
Does a bikini have anything to do with purity? YES IT DOES!
I want to stay pure sexually until I get married.
I have never been kissed by a guy and I'm proud of it, or at least I was.
Being teased and pointed out isn't fun. There have been girls who have pointed out my underwear for Pete's sake!
Being teased can give you a new perspective, a wrong perspective. That's what it has done to me sadly.
I don't very often tell people, but when I was on the volleyball team this last year the girls pointed out things that where "wrong with me", they tried to put sexual things into my mind, and they made me question my standards.
As a result, I spend 30 minutes to an hour trying to make my make up perfect and choose clothes that where okay.
I spend a great deal of the day trying to make myself feel important and pretty.
When news gets out that I haven't kissed a guy, I get shocked faces, "whats wrong with you" questions, and "your a loser" tones when they talk to me.
I absolutely LOVE talking to other girls about this and listening to speakers talk about this cause it's honestly something I'm struggling with.
Am I proud of it. No way!
I hate telling people about this! But I want to help girls in this blog and to do that I need to be honest and let you girls know that my life isn't lollipop lane.
GOD IS THE ANSWER.
I know that, and I also know I don't spend enough time in the Bible and prayer. Right now I'm I guess kinda "desperate" to find books, speakers, mentors anything to do with what I'm dealing with because this way of living is not fun. It's not!
This isn't what this blog post was supposed to be about, but that's okay.
Pray for me and if you know a girl who's like this, like me try to help them. :)
One of the girls......
Taylyr
I didn't know you had a blog! That's awesome! And don't worry, you're not alone in this purity struggle. Usually, I go around in T-shirts, but, you know, that doesn't look very "girl-like". My parents are like yours, in that they tell me about what goes through a boys mind, and how I shouldn't try to encourage them. Until recently I've just gone with the whole T-shirt thing, but now it's become a struggle as I just received a more "girl-y" shirt the other day...anyway, enough of my rambling. Keep up the morals, girl! :D
ReplyDelete-Kathy Chase