Pushin' the Purity!

I don't know about anyone else but I love to be with a group of girls and talk about purity.
I'm not like obsessed with sex or anything, but it's something I'm interested in teaching about. I know that I can struggle sometimes. Just yesterday I was having an inside battle with myself because we where looking at bathing suits and the majority of them where bikinis. So my mind starts wandering and all of a sudden I start to wonder how I would look in a bikini. Where did that come from?!
Well, it came from what I've been struggling with, looking "good", but not an extent to where my parents complain. So while we're looking at bathing suits my mom's trying to get an idea of what I want.
I was panicking inside cause I didn't want to tell my mom, the one who's always influenced me not to wear bikinis, that that's what I wanted to try on! No way!
But I ended up crying in Kohl's because I was telling my parents I didn't know what I wanted when I did, but I wanted approval.
Now the day before my dad was talking to us girls about bikinis and how showing things get to guys and all that and I felt bad that the very next day I wanted to go against what I have always believed about that and try one on.
Does a bikini have anything to do with purity? YES IT DOES!
I want to stay pure sexually until I get married.
I have never been kissed by a guy and I'm proud of it, or at least I was.
Being teased and pointed out isn't fun. There have been girls who have pointed out my underwear for Pete's sake!
Being teased can give you a new perspective, a wrong perspective. That's what it has done to me sadly.
I don't very often tell people, but when I was on the volleyball team this last year the girls pointed out things that where "wrong with me", they tried to put sexual things into my mind, and they made me question my standards.
As a result, I spend 30 minutes to an hour trying to make my make up perfect and choose clothes that where okay.
I spend a great deal of the day trying to make myself feel important and pretty.
When news gets out that I haven't kissed a guy, I get shocked faces, "whats wrong with you" questions, and "your a loser" tones when they talk to me.
I absolutely LOVE talking to other girls about this and listening to speakers talk about this cause it's honestly something I'm struggling with.
Am I proud of it. No way!
I hate telling people about this! But I want to help girls in this blog and to do that I need to be honest and let you girls know that my life isn't lollipop lane.
GOD IS THE ANSWER.
I know that, and I also know I don't spend enough time in the Bible and prayer. Right now I'm I guess kinda "desperate" to find books, speakers, mentors anything to do with what I'm dealing with because this way of living is not fun. It's not!
This isn't what this blog post was supposed to be about, but that's okay.
Pray for me and if you know a girl who's like this, like me try to help them. :)

One of the girls......
           Taylyr

Cleanin' Out the Junk!

Moving is hard work!
Packing boxes is a good workout though. Today I got into the kick of packing up my room. I loved finding all the things I thought I lost and all the stuff I realized I really didn't need! I was proud of myself for packing less books than when I came. :)
Thinking about my day I came to realize how much packing can be like our life. When we really get to the point of cleaning our minds, through all the piles of stuff, we find things to pack up and save for later, we find junk we need to throw out, and we find things we once needed, but is no longer a necessity. We also have stuff we just need or want to give away. I absolutely love it when God suddenly gives me such an easy and understandable way to look at things. :)
God can use so many things in our lives to show us anything! We truly do have an amazing God! It makes me excited for the things ahead that's gonna become clear to me. Listen to God, it truly works. ;)
             One of the girls,
                            Taylyr