Through the Waterfall: A Chilling Tale About Divergence

I went on a Whitewater rafting trip with our 7th graders this last week and it was so much fun!
This one part of the trip has really stayed with me since it happened: On the last day of rafting, part of the day was this hike that I was told was around an eighth of a mile in distance. On this hike, we walked along this really clear, beautiful river. The river was VERY cold because it was mostly water that ran off the mountain (aka-snow water!). 
This hike ended at these two waterfalls that ran right next to each other with a gap in the middle. In this gap, the kids were told was a small, short place where they could jump off. 
I don't know if you know this, but 7th graders LOVE jumping off stuff! So, they went straight to it. However, to get to the spot, they had to swim to the rock wall, use it to inch to and through one of the waterfalls, and eventually climb onto the place to jump. It looked easy enough as I saw child after child do it, so I decided to give it a try.
I swim to the wall and start inching to the waterfall. I get to the waterfall and look up. Water is already splashing onto the shoulders of my life jacket as I enter the waterfall. 
It was not as easy as it looked.
Not only was the water freezing, but there was no gap between the waterfall itself and the rock wall behind it. I had to slowly continue to inch my way along the wall as the powerful current tried to sweep me away and I was trying to breathe as water filled my nose and mouth. To top it off, I couldn't open my eyes at all. 
To be honest, it really scared me.
After what felt like a long time, the current started receding and I could open my eyes. My body felt like all the warmth had been sucked from me and I had just gone through a washing machine. My eyelids felt sore from being squeezed shut and my lungs hurt as I tried to inhale deep breaths. 
But I had made it.
I climbed onto that small, short rock. I looked around for a second. Then I jumped. 
This wasn't by far the most thrilling jump I did during the week, but I look back at it and deem it my favorite.
I also look back and wonder how differently it would have gone without a life jacket to keep me at least floating. As I felt the water pounding me down further into the deep, icy river, I also remember feeling the life jacket holding me up so that I could keep going.
Our speaker for the week spoke on being divergent in our faith. Being kind to those we hate, loving the outcasts, and standing out even when we'd rather not. Sometimes this divergence puts us under some strong, icy currents that try to pull us under. Sometimes it's hard to see our goal and stay spiritually breathing when pressure, bullies, or being left behind pounds on our backs. 
But Jesus, our spiritual life jacket, keeps us afloat so that we can keep going! He helps us fight the pounding and chill of the world we live in so that when we see that rock we can jump and look back later knowing that we did it! 
Divergence is not always comfortable. It can actually be really scary. But that jump-whether it's developing a new friendship, watching someone come to Christ, or coming to the end of your life knowing you're going to be with God-will be worth it. No matter how small that jump looks from the outside. 
If we keep Jesus, our life jacket, with us we won't ever sink. God lets us know what will happen if we keep going:

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." -James 1:12

If we keep going under those waterfalls, we'll get through it. God even tells us that He will strengthen us!

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

Keep going because our heavenly life jacket has you!

One of the girls.....

         Taylyr Jane 

Today, Tomorrow, the Next Day...Oh My!

I'm involved in a 7th grade youth group this summer working as a mid-group leader. 
This morning we started a thing called Beach Studies. We meet every Thursday morning and study God's word before diving into the freezing ocean. We decided to do our study on the women of the Bible. I am so stoked for this study! 
My friend, another mid-group leader, started us off with Proverbs 31. You know what that is right? Of course you do! 
She was reading it and we came upon verse 25:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

Does that hit anyone else right in the heart? 

I mean, the last thing I usually do when thinking about the future is laugh. The future is scary. Especially for a college student that's leaving home, hopefully getting a job quickly, and has a full school schedule. So much to juggle!

Yet, this verse tells us that a woman should look at the future in two ways:

#1: with laughter

#2: without fear

Lately, my future has been on my mind. A lot. And, I have to admit, sometimes all the choices I'll have to make scare me. Matthew talks about fearing tomorrow:

"There fore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?"

Matthew 7:25

I guess I shouldn't be worrying how I'm going to pay to do laundry, then? 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 7:34

That verse has always made me chuckle inside. I can picture God wagging His finger at me and saying, "Taylyr! You're gonna get into enough trouble today as it is! Stop planning how to screw up tomorrow!" 

Instead of trusting God with my tomorrow's and next year's, I have a bad habit of giving myself panic attacks over them. I cause smoke to come out of my ears and my fears to get ahead of me. Even worse, I try to plan my life! *gasp!*

Sometimes I can't stand the thought that my life isn't mapped out. That I can't be like Dora and just pull out a talking map to see where I'm going. To see what my obstacles will be. 

But God knows.

So, instead of me being in control, I have to say, "God, you know better. You've got this."

It turns into....

I'm going to depend on myself God to get through today.

Now, you may have noticed I completely skipped the laughter part and went right to the easy part.

I mean, what the heck does that mean? 

Am I supposed to literally look at tomorrow and laugh at it? Think about how much I'll screw up and laugh at myself? 

I don't think that's quite it.....

The New American Standard Bible says it this way:

 ".....And she smiles at the future."

King James:

"......and she shall rejoice in time to come."

When it says to "laugh" at the future, I believe it simply means to be joyful. To look positively at the future. 

This ties in wonderfully with not being afraid of the future! (No! Really, Taylyr??)

Not only does the author say to not be afraid of the future, but he tells us what to replace that fear with: laughter, rejoicing, smiles! 

 So, laugh, rejoice, and smile! Put the day in God's hands, even if it looks like you've got it all under control.

One of the girls.....

Taylyr Jane

 

Purity In the Eyes of a Young Woman

I was taken on an amazing purity weekend by my mom when I was 13. We lived in Arizona at the time, so she took me to this beautiful resort. 
It's an understatement when I say that sex was news to me.
I was one of those "lucky" girls that hadn't learned from peers at school what sex was. I thought babies came from kissing. Boy was I wrong!
When I heard what this thing called sex was, I cried and vowed to never have it-it sounded terrifying! 

I got a beautiful purity ring that looked at lot like this....
(I later lost it babysitting because it was too big.)

Well....the fear didn't last too long.
I was 17 when I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend.
I felt like I had passed through some "adult wall".
I was proud of myself.
For a while.

I spent almost a year convinced that I had done nothing wrong. I was just "following my heart". 
In all reality, I was mad at God and wanted to show it.

Before long what I did started to eat at me.
It consumed me. Even after I got back on track with God.
I couldn't wrap myself around the fact that I was loved. Not like I was before.
Not by my parents or God.

I wanted to take it all back and be new and pure.
I felt like I was covered in mud no matter how many showers I took.
I wanted to be worthy of love again. 
I wanted to be the good daughter again.

This lasted until I was 19.
At 19, I decided that I had had enough.
God had told me constantly that He loved me. That He put that sin as far as the east is from the west.
He didn't put it that far just from Himself, but from me too. 
To Him I was pure. 
I was clean.
I was loved.
I was forgiven.
I was His daughter.
I was the reason Jesus died on the cross.

"But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God." -John 1:12

I was new, refreshed, and restored.

After I was finally able to clean all of the mud off of myself, I began a new adventure: who am I as a woman of God?
What does that mean?
Is it just Proverbs 31? Or is it so much more?

Ladies, if you're like me at all, you've wondered how you're ever going to be a Proverbs 31 woman. 
But that's only the beginning. 
How are we supposed to be women of God if we don't fully know what that means?

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."-Titus 2:3-5

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."-1 Corinthians 11:3

This is only the tip of the iceberg. 
There is a lot about submitting to our husbands. 
But there's so much more!
Just because the sentence doesn't begin with "Women do this...." "Women act like this..." doesn't mean it's not intended for us.
We are fashioned after God's heart.

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man."-1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Ladies, we need to seriously stop taking this the wrong way.
God's intentions for women is evident, but we're so stupid about it.
We're not slaves.
We're not walked on.
We're not pets.
We're not possessions.
The Bible isn't asking us to be any of that.

God is asking us to be His daughters, but we're trying to be His sons!
Doesn't sound right, does it?

Purity is more than sexual abstinence. 
It's knowing who we are as women and respecting that.

Moms- if you take your daughters on purity weekends, spend some time taking about what being a Godly woman is. 
Becoming a woman is scary and if our daughters are only taught who they are physically and by the world's standards then they get lost. 
Being taught and reminded who a woman is spiritually and in God's original design makes all the difference. 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me."-Psalm 51:10-11

I hate talking about that part of my life that I messed up.
I'm ashamed of it.
I'm embarrassed that it ever happened.
I've hidden it.
I've pretended like it never happened.
But God has tugged on my heart that it was time to share.
It's time to not hold that anymore.
It's time for healing.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long.

It's time to forgive myself.

One of the girls....
Taylyr Jane

Spoken For: The Pursuit of a Relentless Lover

I'm reading a book that's co-authored by my favorite author: Robin Jones Gunn. It's called Spoken For. She writes it with a woman named Alyssa Joy Bethke. 
There's a part of the book where these two share a list that they made. I wanted to share it here because it's amazing and so truthful. I needed to see/hear it and so does everyone else.

What God Says About You:

• You were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)
• You are my treasured possession, my peculiar treasure. (Exodus 19:5 NIV, KJV)
• If you seek me with your whole heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
• When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)
• Delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
• I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1)
• I know when you sit down and when you stand up. (Psalm 139:2)
• I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)
• I knit you together when you were in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
• All your days were written in my book before there was one of them. (Psalm 139:16)
• My thoughts toward you are as countless as the grains of sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)
• As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you. (Isaiah 40:11)
• I knew you before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:5)
• My plans for your future are for good, to give you hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
• I will never stop being good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)
• I will take pleasure in doing good things for you and will do those things with all my heart and soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)
• I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)
• I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
• I am your provider, I will meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33)
• I know how to give good gifts to my children. (Matthew 7:11)
• I gave you the right to become my children when you received my Son, Jesus, and believed in his name. (John 1:12)
• I am the Bridegroom and you are my bride. (John 3:29)
• I have prepared a place for you. I will come back for you and take you to myself so that we can be together forever. (John 14:3)
• I love you even as I have loved my only Son. (John 17:23)
• I revealed my love for you through Jesus. (John 17:26)
• I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26)
• In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)
• I am for you and not against you. (Romans 8:31)
• I will never allow anything to separate you from my love for you. (Romans 8:35-39)
• I gave my Son so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:19)
• I am your peace. (Ephesians 2:14)
• I am able to do more than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
• I am at work in you, giving you the desire and the power to fulfill my good purpose for you. (Philippians 2:13)
• I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
• Every good gift you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)
• I desire to lavish my love upon you because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1)
• My love for you is not based on your love for me. (1 John 4:10)
• I gave the ultimate expression of my love for you through Jesus. (1 John 4:10)
• I am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16)  
• I will dwell with you in heaven. You will be mine, and I will be your God. (Revelation 21:3)
• I will one day wipe away every tear from your eyes, and there will be no more crying or pain or sorrow. (Revelation 21:4)
• I have written your name in my book. (Revelation 21:27)
• I invite you to come. (Revelation 22:17)

 Robin Jones Gunn is an author that first inspired me to be an author. God has given me the gift to make it happen. I love this book and I hope these verses will bless you! 

God pursues all of you individually.  Never forget that. He is your Relentless Lover.

(Buy the book to read more!)

One of the girls......
Taylyr Jane
 

I Am Fearfully Made, But NOT Made Full of Fear!

"I praise YOU because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; YOUR works are wonderful, I KNOW that full well."

Psalm 139: 14

We see these words "fearfully and wonderfully made" a lot on social media, signs, clothing, etc. But, I'm pretty certain that I am not the only one that wonders what being made "fearfully" means. I've looked up that word for its definition. I found two meanings: 

1. in an anxious manner; apprehensively

2. dreadfully; extremely

Needless to say, this did not help me. I even changed the language to Hebrew to see if anything changed. It was the same, much to my chagrin. 

I did, however, find these synonyms underneath:

apprehensively, uneasily, nervously, timidly, timorously, hesitantly,with one's heart in one's mouth

This made my wheels turn.

The hard part about blogging on the words of God is that words can be misinterpreted and taken to the proverbial "slaughter house". However, when the Holy Spirit comes a tuggin', I come a writin'! When I saw that synonym, I was taken aback. Part by apprehension that I was giving it more meaning than was intended and part because God is my Father and this is what fathers do with their children. Fathers wear their hearts where its vulnerable. Although, I've never heard it said to wear a heart in one's mouth. On one's sleeve? Yes. But mouth? Never. 

It didn't make much sense. Until my eyes literally fell onto my Bible.

If one's heart is in one's mouth, it sounds as if it's saying that their heart is in their words. God wrote the Bible because He loves us. His heart was in these very words that are so often carried for appearance or taken for granted. We see Bibles in hotels, in homes, in bookstores, in the app store, and even in our own hands...and His heart too often goes unnoticed. 

What does this have to do with being "fearfully made"? 

Everything.

God made us with His heart inside of us; with His words inside the very being of who we are! We are made with God's very imprint on our hearts. The hearts that are fashioned after His very own. 

Because of this, what do we have to fear? We are not made to be full of fear because we were made fearfully! 

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Ephesians 2:10

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Genesis 1:27

In the verse in Genesis, we see Him say that He created us not once, not twice, but three times in that one verse! He wants to emphasize that we are His! He is not ashamed of us! In fact, He's trying to reclaim a people, His people, that are being taken, beaten, and shamed by a world that has fallen apart. He cares so much that when Adam and Eve sinned and messed up the perfect world He made for us, He made a perfect heaven for us! 

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the older of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

Revelation 21:4-7

We are not made to be full of fear because we were made fearfully! 

One of the girls....

Taylyr Jane

Changing the Face of Our Christianity...or Rather Letting God Do It.

I'm involved in a woman's Bible study at my church. 
We're doing a study called "Nehemiah: A Heart That Can Break" by Kelly Minter.
One of the biggest things that has hit me in the one session we've done so far is when she said that something (I don't remember what) changed the face of her Christianity. I LOVE these words!
Why? Because it's a great way to describe how each person has a different relationship with God. Not one person's relationship with God, way of talking to God, and ministry with/for God is the same.
Just like each person's face is different in structure and make, each person's Christianity is different in structure and make. 
So, I have learned through this one awesome thought that comparing my relationship, way of communication and ministry with God to another person's is not only unhealthy, but a waste of everything involved in the art of comparing. 
The face of my Christianity will not be the same as that of Keegan's, my mom's, my dad's, my sister's, my aunt's, my uncle's......the list goes on. In short, the face of my Christianity is as unique as my physical face. It's beautiful, valuable, important, loved, special, and treasured by God.

And so is yours.

This also brings another important thought....do we allow God to change the face of our Christianity? Honestly! Do we let Him make changes in the way we communicate with him? In our ministry? Do we allow Him to grow us? His growth and changes are what make each of our relationships with Him unique and different.

The changes He wants us to make may be sad, scary, angering, or just confusing. But if we want to thrive and fulfill God's plan here for us to the fullest, we have to trust Him with everything. Even the things we're comfortable with and want to hug them tight to our chest and say, "I think this one's perfect, God. There's no need to touch this." 

Everything is safer with God than clung tightly to our chests.

 One of the girls...
Taylyr Jane