Tyler.

God seems to put a lot of "Special Ed" people in my life.

Those people who's words just get slurred together and are frustrated when you have to ask them to repeat what they say constantly. The first "Special Ed" kid, I remember, to be my friend was a guy named Tyler. I was, at the time, in fourth grade and was in the middle of 'I don't want to hurt his feelings and say no' and 'I actually enjoy hanging around him'. There were days to where I wanted to be around him and enjoyed the "special games" he would make up for us. However, there where also days where I wanted to say no, but didn't have the heart to.

I remember one day I wanted to play with the girls that were in my class so I hoped through lunch that Tyler wouldn't be there. I was disappointed to hear him call my name as I was headed to the monkey bars. Turning around with a smile plastered on my face I saw him running towards me beaming like everyday. Taking the piece of paper he was clutching and opening it up he showed me a paper covered with colourful lines and scribbles with pictures in the corners.

Holding it up he told me that he had created a treasure map that would lead to his "treasure". Following him all over the playground this way and that we were supposedly following the scribbles and lines. Peering at my other friends I had a secret envy for them that made me feel guilty. When we stopped he dropped to his knees and started digging. Getting down on my knees I waited. Out of the hole he brought out a small quartz. Handling it like it was the most precious thing in the world he showed me every side describing the rock.

He smiled widely and handed me the quartz and said to me in his slurred voice, "I want you to have it."

As a fourth grader I didn't see.

The first day I told him no a few weeks later his smile was gone and he went back inside and stayed there the rest of the day. I look back and feel sad and sometimes bad that I didn't see the ministry in Tyler. That I didn't see his love.

We don't see a lot when we envy or are blinded by endless wishing.

One of the girls....
                 Taylyr

What If?

How do you explain something that you don't understand yourself?
The mysteries of the thing in my skull commonly know as a "brain". A brain.
Dear brain,
Why do you make yourself so complicated?
Sincerely,
The BodyYou know there's an unknown reason. The tricky part of that reason is it's mischievous partner. UNKNOWN. (dun dun DUN!)
I wonder if other people get scared  confused when they think about what's ahead. Is there a life of nomadic ministries? What about getting married? Kids?
What is a girl to discover when the world seems so big compared to her little world?
What do you do when you have a special guy friend, that has always been there for you, that doesn't always do what he says he'll do?
Dear special guy friend,
Why is it that when I manage to think I have gotten over you, you finally show up and make my breath quicken?
Love,
The girl
P.S. Make up your mind!! Are you gonna call me or not?!

Dear special guy friend,
Why can't you just answer the question without making my mind race and stay up all night?
Love,
The girlWhy can't I back away and let God make what He wants happen? Well, because I want certain things to happen to me!
Ummm.....I don't remember God being a wish list for the Miss 'I want everything' girl.
Dear God,
You can do what you want with me, but first let me give you the 411 on my opinions.
Your daughter,
The girlUhh no.
I think that we girls want control in something. Anything Maybe not ANYTHING. Do we really want control? If we were in control what would happen?
What if
Us humans can really get caught up in the world of 'What if?'.
Why do we want to base the future on the
God gives us brand new, clean white 'shirts' and then when we look back and bring all the dirt back in! What happens to the brand new white shirt? WHAT A MESS!!!
Why do we make a mess in the first place?
Dear God,
Clean-up on my isle!!
Your daughter,
The girlSigh.
One of the girls,
     Taylyr you did kiss the guy? What if you had just ignored the new kid? What if..........?Also, why does the special guy friend have to keep you "guessing"?