Purity In the Eyes of a Young Woman

I was taken on an amazing purity weekend by my mom when I was 13. We lived in Arizona at the time, so she took me to this beautiful resort. 
It's an understatement when I say that sex was news to me.
I was one of those "lucky" girls that hadn't learned from peers at school what sex was. I thought babies came from kissing. Boy was I wrong!
When I heard what this thing called sex was, I cried and vowed to never have it-it sounded terrifying! 

I got a beautiful purity ring that looked at lot like this....
(I later lost it babysitting because it was too big.)

Well....the fear didn't last too long.
I was 17 when I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend.
I felt like I had passed through some "adult wall".
I was proud of myself.
For a while.

I spent almost a year convinced that I had done nothing wrong. I was just "following my heart". 
In all reality, I was mad at God and wanted to show it.

Before long what I did started to eat at me.
It consumed me. Even after I got back on track with God.
I couldn't wrap myself around the fact that I was loved. Not like I was before.
Not by my parents or God.

I wanted to take it all back and be new and pure.
I felt like I was covered in mud no matter how many showers I took.
I wanted to be worthy of love again. 
I wanted to be the good daughter again.

This lasted until I was 19.
At 19, I decided that I had had enough.
God had told me constantly that He loved me. That He put that sin as far as the east is from the west.
He didn't put it that far just from Himself, but from me too. 
To Him I was pure. 
I was clean.
I was loved.
I was forgiven.
I was His daughter.
I was the reason Jesus died on the cross.

"But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God." -John 1:12

I was new, refreshed, and restored.

After I was finally able to clean all of the mud off of myself, I began a new adventure: who am I as a woman of God?
What does that mean?
Is it just Proverbs 31? Or is it so much more?

Ladies, if you're like me at all, you've wondered how you're ever going to be a Proverbs 31 woman. 
But that's only the beginning. 
How are we supposed to be women of God if we don't fully know what that means?

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."-Titus 2:3-5

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."-1 Corinthians 11:3

This is only the tip of the iceberg. 
There is a lot about submitting to our husbands. 
But there's so much more!
Just because the sentence doesn't begin with "Women do this...." "Women act like this..." doesn't mean it's not intended for us.
We are fashioned after God's heart.

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man."-1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Ladies, we need to seriously stop taking this the wrong way.
God's intentions for women is evident, but we're so stupid about it.
We're not slaves.
We're not walked on.
We're not pets.
We're not possessions.
The Bible isn't asking us to be any of that.

God is asking us to be His daughters, but we're trying to be His sons!
Doesn't sound right, does it?

Purity is more than sexual abstinence. 
It's knowing who we are as women and respecting that.

Moms- if you take your daughters on purity weekends, spend some time taking about what being a Godly woman is. 
Becoming a woman is scary and if our daughters are only taught who they are physically and by the world's standards then they get lost. 
Being taught and reminded who a woman is spiritually and in God's original design makes all the difference. 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me."-Psalm 51:10-11

I hate talking about that part of my life that I messed up.
I'm ashamed of it.
I'm embarrassed that it ever happened.
I've hidden it.
I've pretended like it never happened.
But God has tugged on my heart that it was time to share.
It's time to not hold that anymore.
It's time for healing.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long.

It's time to forgive myself.

One of the girls....
Taylyr Jane

Spoken For: The Pursuit of a Relentless Lover

I'm reading a book that's co-authored by my favorite author: Robin Jones Gunn. It's called Spoken For. She writes it with a woman named Alyssa Joy Bethke. 
There's a part of the book where these two share a list that they made. I wanted to share it here because it's amazing and so truthful. I needed to see/hear it and so does everyone else.

What God Says About You:

• You were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)
• You are my treasured possession, my peculiar treasure. (Exodus 19:5 NIV, KJV)
• If you seek me with your whole heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
• When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)
• Delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
• I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1)
• I know when you sit down and when you stand up. (Psalm 139:2)
• I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)
• I knit you together when you were in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
• All your days were written in my book before there was one of them. (Psalm 139:16)
• My thoughts toward you are as countless as the grains of sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)
• As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you. (Isaiah 40:11)
• I knew you before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:5)
• My plans for your future are for good, to give you hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
• I will never stop being good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)
• I will take pleasure in doing good things for you and will do those things with all my heart and soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)
• I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)
• I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
• I am your provider, I will meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33)
• I know how to give good gifts to my children. (Matthew 7:11)
• I gave you the right to become my children when you received my Son, Jesus, and believed in his name. (John 1:12)
• I am the Bridegroom and you are my bride. (John 3:29)
• I have prepared a place for you. I will come back for you and take you to myself so that we can be together forever. (John 14:3)
• I love you even as I have loved my only Son. (John 17:23)
• I revealed my love for you through Jesus. (John 17:26)
• I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26)
• In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)
• I am for you and not against you. (Romans 8:31)
• I will never allow anything to separate you from my love for you. (Romans 8:35-39)
• I gave my Son so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:19)
• I am your peace. (Ephesians 2:14)
• I am able to do more than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
• I am at work in you, giving you the desire and the power to fulfill my good purpose for you. (Philippians 2:13)
• I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
• Every good gift you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)
• I desire to lavish my love upon you because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1)
• My love for you is not based on your love for me. (1 John 4:10)
• I gave the ultimate expression of my love for you through Jesus. (1 John 4:10)
• I am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16)  
• I will dwell with you in heaven. You will be mine, and I will be your God. (Revelation 21:3)
• I will one day wipe away every tear from your eyes, and there will be no more crying or pain or sorrow. (Revelation 21:4)
• I have written your name in my book. (Revelation 21:27)
• I invite you to come. (Revelation 22:17)

 Robin Jones Gunn is an author that first inspired me to be an author. God has given me the gift to make it happen. I love this book and I hope these verses will bless you! 

God pursues all of you individually.  Never forget that. He is your Relentless Lover.

(Buy the book to read more!)

One of the girls......
Taylyr Jane
 

I Am Fearfully Made, But NOT Made Full of Fear!

"I praise YOU because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; YOUR works are wonderful, I KNOW that full well."

Psalm 139: 14

We see these words "fearfully and wonderfully made" a lot on social media, signs, clothing, etc. But, I'm pretty certain that I am not the only one that wonders what being made "fearfully" means. I've looked up that word for its definition. I found two meanings: 

1. in an anxious manner; apprehensively

2. dreadfully; extremely

Needless to say, this did not help me. I even changed the language to Hebrew to see if anything changed. It was the same, much to my chagrin. 

I did, however, find these synonyms underneath:

apprehensively, uneasily, nervously, timidly, timorously, hesitantly,with one's heart in one's mouth

This made my wheels turn.

The hard part about blogging on the words of God is that words can be misinterpreted and taken to the proverbial "slaughter house". However, when the Holy Spirit comes a tuggin', I come a writin'! When I saw that synonym, I was taken aback. Part by apprehension that I was giving it more meaning than was intended and part because God is my Father and this is what fathers do with their children. Fathers wear their hearts where its vulnerable. Although, I've never heard it said to wear a heart in one's mouth. On one's sleeve? Yes. But mouth? Never. 

It didn't make much sense. Until my eyes literally fell onto my Bible.

If one's heart is in one's mouth, it sounds as if it's saying that their heart is in their words. God wrote the Bible because He loves us. His heart was in these very words that are so often carried for appearance or taken for granted. We see Bibles in hotels, in homes, in bookstores, in the app store, and even in our own hands...and His heart too often goes unnoticed. 

What does this have to do with being "fearfully made"? 

Everything.

God made us with His heart inside of us; with His words inside the very being of who we are! We are made with God's very imprint on our hearts. The hearts that are fashioned after His very own. 

Because of this, what do we have to fear? We are not made to be full of fear because we were made fearfully! 

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Ephesians 2:10

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Genesis 1:27

In the verse in Genesis, we see Him say that He created us not once, not twice, but three times in that one verse! He wants to emphasize that we are His! He is not ashamed of us! In fact, He's trying to reclaim a people, His people, that are being taken, beaten, and shamed by a world that has fallen apart. He cares so much that when Adam and Eve sinned and messed up the perfect world He made for us, He made a perfect heaven for us! 

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the older of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

Revelation 21:4-7

We are not made to be full of fear because we were made fearfully! 

One of the girls....

Taylyr Jane

Changing the Face of Our Christianity...or Rather Letting God Do It.

I'm involved in a woman's Bible study at my church. 
We're doing a study called "Nehemiah: A Heart That Can Break" by Kelly Minter.
One of the biggest things that has hit me in the one session we've done so far is when she said that something (I don't remember what) changed the face of her Christianity. I LOVE these words!
Why? Because it's a great way to describe how each person has a different relationship with God. Not one person's relationship with God, way of talking to God, and ministry with/for God is the same.
Just like each person's face is different in structure and make, each person's Christianity is different in structure and make. 
So, I have learned through this one awesome thought that comparing my relationship, way of communication and ministry with God to another person's is not only unhealthy, but a waste of everything involved in the art of comparing. 
The face of my Christianity will not be the same as that of Keegan's, my mom's, my dad's, my sister's, my aunt's, my uncle's......the list goes on. In short, the face of my Christianity is as unique as my physical face. It's beautiful, valuable, important, loved, special, and treasured by God.

And so is yours.

This also brings another important thought....do we allow God to change the face of our Christianity? Honestly! Do we let Him make changes in the way we communicate with him? In our ministry? Do we allow Him to grow us? His growth and changes are what make each of our relationships with Him unique and different.

The changes He wants us to make may be sad, scary, angering, or just confusing. But if we want to thrive and fulfill God's plan here for us to the fullest, we have to trust Him with everything. Even the things we're comfortable with and want to hug them tight to our chest and say, "I think this one's perfect, God. There's no need to touch this." 

Everything is safer with God than clung tightly to our chests.

 One of the girls...
Taylyr Jane

I Am My Own Greatest Idol.

I read a lot of posts and articles on marriage. (Hey, what can I say? I'll be a bride in less than 6 months!) Most of them are about the same things:

1) How to make your marriage better.
2) How to better cater to your spouse's needs.
3) What qualities/traits you need to make a lasting marriage.

One thing that I keep reading that's directed at the women is to make sure to "take time to look good for your husband". Put some make-up on, wear something that shows off your curves, etc. 
Well, ladies, what if you were to take time everyday to make yourself attractive spiritually? We spend at least an hour everyday prepping ourselves for the day ahead. Admit it, that prep time is usually what takes up the time until you have to get going. It takes up time that could be spend in fellowship with God.
I, for one, have never been very good at keeping up with devotions or getting up early to fit them in. But, I have been pretty good at getting up in enough time to do my hair, pick out nice clothes and put on make-up after a 10-20 minute shower. 
Here's the sucker punch question: Why don't we put getting on our spiritual armor first? Why isn't becoming attractive from the inside a priority to being attractive on the outside?
I love wearing make-up and wearing nice clothes that makes Keegan, my fiance, smile. But, ultimately, he's not marrying me for that. In fact, in one of our pre-marriage counseling session his dad (the one officiating us) asked us what drew us to the other. Keegan's answer was that he was drawn to how he always saw me with my morning devotions with my Bible in hand. 
My husband-to-be was, and is still, attracted to my fellowship with God. Not my make-up or clothes.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Colossians 3:5

Our passion is towards ourselves. The person we put the most time towards in our day is ourselves. 

We covet ourselves! We have taken our own bodies from God and half the time don't even ask what He wants us to do with them! You may see asking God's opinion on clothes and make-up as silly, but He doesn't! Our bodies are His and we've taken them away because we want control over them.

How sad is that?

He made us in the womb. Our eye color, hair color, skin type...everything. He made every aspect of you inside and out for a reason. Yet, we go changing everything.

Face it people, men and women. We have become our own idols. According the this verse...we've all committed idolatry. 

When God showed me this I was so shocked that I didn't have words. There are even times I put these blogs and my manuscript before my fellowship with God. You may be doing "Godly" things, but it all comes down to how much personal fellowship you have with Him.

One of the girls...

Taylyr Jane

Give Me Words to Speak & Let the Spirit Lead.

Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the LORD's will is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

When God calls us to do things for Him, we need to stop what we're doing and go do it! Even if it's something just between you and Him.

God gives us daily opportunities to get closer to His heart and the hearts of others. Sometimes He gives us chances to even get closer to our own hearts.

We miss moments to become knitted at the heart with other people and with Him when we hesitate and walk away in fear or embarrassment. 

Then, there's doing what God says one time, but then hearing Him tell you to do something else and instead of going you say, "Eh, I did that Godly-thing yesterday. I think I've done my holy share for the week."

How stupid can we be?

We push away chances for God to bless us, bless someone else, bond with us, show someone else who He is...the list of what we pass up is endless.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

1 Timothy 1:7

Ever wonder why the Spirit didn't make us timid? 

It would be useless for us to be timid when He's trying to get things done. You know what's sad? We're timid anyway! So, we still get in the way of Him getting things done!

We need to stop that!

I remember a couple of times where God has told me to go talk to people, but they were usually either people I didn't know or people I didn't like. Plus, I didn't know what He wanted me to say. I was unnerved. That's half the battle isn't it? Trusting that God will give us words. We want to "approve" of what we're going to be saying. 

What makes me feel really sorry that I was too unnerved to do what He asked is that I took away not only God and me moments. I took away a God moment from another person.

Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples.

Psalms 96:3

We need to stop being ashamed of our Lover and what He does. We should brag more about how God romances us than the beautiful diamond necklace our spouse just bought us.

One of the girls...

Taylyr Jane

Flexability: He Never Breaks Me, Only Bends.

Does anyone remember that song by David Crowder Band? I love their song How He Loves.

"He is jealous for me.

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree.

Bending beneath the waves of His wind and mercy.

And all of a sudden I am unaware of His affections eclipsed by glory.

And I realized just how wonderful You are and how great Your affections are for me."

These are some of my favorite lyrics in the song. I can sit still and drink in the promises of God's grace. He is gentle, but firm. His new, daily mercies are waves of wind. Waves of wind--strong and graceful, but you can't see it physically. You feel it. And then His affections are eclipsed by glory! I love that wording! He is jealous for me.

He is jealous for me. 

The one who looks in the mirror daily and finds something wrong. The one who talks harshly to people sometimes. The one who plays the blame game. The one who falls short of this eclipsed glory.

"-for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

Romans 3:23&24

I have fallen short of the glory of God daily. But, I am also justified freely by His grace! Because of Christ Jesus! 

Wow. Have you ever just sat still and thought about that? If Jesus hadn't gone through so much awful pain then we wouldn't be free to have the romance and relationship with God that we're completely free to have now!

One last note: notice how the song says we're bending beneath these waves and this wind. Not breaking. God doesn't break us, but when we do break He picks up the pieces and turns us into a masterpiece even more beautiful than before.

One of the girls......
Taylyr Jane